Do Not DOUBT!

Running today, being inspired by self-control to run but also to PRAY, to not be a hearer of the Word, but a doer...

The skies are so big as I do my little jog.

Not doubting that You hear me when I pray and are going to give me good gifts (-- wisdom, patience, power, grace...) and Not thinking You are done blessing my life, that the future is dreary and scary... all takes self-preaching and setting my mind on things above, not leaving them miring in the middle of the mundane.

Prayed for my brother today, that God would meet needs of a new era of ministry/marriage.
Prayed for my sons today, that God would give them friends that would pull them to Yourself.
Prayed for my dad's church, that they would be full of meekness and the blessedness of the beatitudes.
Prayed for my fellow staff at FCA to be personally met in their times with You.

All of these are totally out of my hands... My hands cannot produce the results I desire.
But I get to have a conversation with the Highest, with the One who is high and lifted up, the One who dwells also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit. He listens, generously giving wisdom to all who ask, without pointing His finger at all my failings.


















I can face my future fearlessly, come what may, because...
HE WILL BE WITH ME.

He may be the only One that is.


But... if that day comes, I shall only know His Love and Mercy more awfully...
Grace will be clung to.
Mercy and Faithfulness shall resonate in my deeper places as the hurt drives in its mourning wedges.
With tears, I trust my future to You because I know Your thoughts and ways are not mine.
You are more compassionate and merciful than I know.

Nahum 1:8
"The LORD is good,
a Stronghold in the day of trouble;
He knows those who take refuge in Him."

I find I'm still coming back to heart surrender. Surrendering to the Shepherd.

thankfuls

I remember the dean of students at my college encouraging the periodic habit of making lists of what he dubbed "Thankfuls"... Love the perspective I always regain after a list...

Also - our pastor used a little illustration Sunday of popcorn being like thankfulness - how you add the heat of life and... out pops the gratitude. Yes yes. Difficult times -- and there's new perspective to gain. But the pastor reminded us at the bottom of every bowl of popcorn is a few hard nuts that refuse to pop... So today in effort to not get hard in the face of twinges of sadness -- here's my gratitude.

LIST OF THANKFULS FOR JOY MARTIN'S UNBELIEVABLY HUGELY BLESSED LIFE:
(in no particular order)
My immediate Woodward family - that they are alive, health, happy, growing, blessed; that I have had them for so many years; that we have experienced such unity, fun memories, and joy; that Jesus has provided for all our needs through the years; that Jesus has walked with each of us through the coming life phases; for wonderfully attentive, loving Christian parents; for fun thoughtful Jesus-loving siblings; for additions to our family - that fit us so beautifully;

My own new family unit - for Jesus giving me a husband that is way better than I would have thought up, or chosen; for our precious healthy son and his delightful spirit; for our second son's condition and easy pregnancy; for our home that is happy and Jesus-loving; for the love that Randy and I have learned about in being married and being parents that mirrors to our faces our God's love for us; for Jesus' UNBELIEVABLE provision in our lives - where we now are in the black from student loans and barely pay a regular bill in life; for sovereignly bringing Randy and I together in the dating process that I was so horrible at; for Jesus giving me a husband that is truly smarter and a better leader than I am -- so my job of submission is a joy; for all the provision for our children -- surrounded in love and gifts and blessing;

Our delightful, challenging and rewarding job - for our boys who love on my kid so well; for the bonds we have with our boys that have been with us now for 2.5 years; for the adventure of FCA; for the scheduling of teaching and dorm life working together so well; for the ability to use our gifts for money!; for our humble gracious strong bosses and their favor towards us; for the freedom and encouragement to decorate our house; for my loving students who have hero hearts; for the unbelievable fellow staff members I get to rub shoulders with daily; for friends here that are true and precious;

My health. My freedom. My safety. My food.

My Jesus who pursues me when I apathetically make no effort back or when I run the other way... <3 He gives the deepest, most sacrificial love to me and orders my life accordingly. He stands patient over me when I am an ignorant childish pouter - and shows me the broader horizon that He views. He saves me from myself, the world, the devil, His own wrath  -- for Himself. I love Him...and cry at the beauty I see.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear ones.

a prayer.

I want to be alive with God’s favor in every aspect of my life. 

"that'll preach." - my husband

a word study summary on STEADFAST LOVE in the Psalms and Old Testament. <3

STEADFAST LOVE has always been, won’t be forgotten, is God’s to give/show, goes before God; goes with His faithfulness and is good/great towards us; STEADFAST LOVE gives us access to Himself, where He lives, meeting with Him; God delights in STEADFAST LOVE--looks for it; He is quick to show STEADFAST LOVE/plentiful redemption vs. anger; bc of this He leads me to His purpose for me; STEADFAST LOVE is shown by exalting/glorifying His Name/Word -- not ours

STEADFAST LOVE reaches to and above the heavens and fills the earth; 

STEADFAST LOVE is something He shows abundantly, tangibly, wondrously, faithfully keeping His promises -- how He treats us in our pitiful/sinful/desperate (besieged! pits! danger! mud! enemies! sins! death! rebellion!) states 

STEADFAST LOVE protects, satisfies, crowns, comforts, preserves, holds up, secures, enlivens, gladdens, brings joy to, gives victory, provides for, gives favor to, surrounds, accompanies, redeems/delivers, avenges, watches over, guides, atones for, forgives, is upon US 

His holy character, wonders in creation, deliverance from Egypt (sin’s bondage), giving a land to His people (life with Him), continuing to care for His pitiful people -- examples of how God shows His STEADFAST LOVE from Psalm 136 where the phrase "resounds like a gong"

STEADFAST LOVE lasts forever (everlasting to everlasting) in His covenant to Jesus’, David’s, Abraham’s fams -- and to His children/betrothed bride -- STEADFAST LOVE will not be restrained; stands even after the elements are destroyed; 

STEADFAST LOVE is better and more precious than anything in life - boast, riches, experiences; 

STEADFAST LOVE is the most desired quality in men- therefore look to develop it in your life by devising good toward others; the wise consider STEADFAST LOVE

there is a responsibility on humans to meditate on, remember(not forget!!), receive, reflect and teach (not conceal/remain silent) STEADFAST LOVE by having it in our hearts, words, songs and lives; if we do not - it can lead to rebellion; STEADFAST LOVE produces bowing down and giving thanks; gives spiritual strength to obey

when STEADFAST LOVE is your trust/before your eyes/appealed to/asked for/your hope, you shall not be moved, His eye is on you, this abounds to you, He takes pleasure in you

at times STEADFAST LOVE seems hidden and the way is confusing- nowhere in sight - ask God to remember His STEADFAST LOVE, speak it to you, hope in this anyway -- especially in the morning

STEADFAST LOVE can be removed, rejected, forsaken by human rebellion by consistent breaking of their wholehearted covenant with their God to the worship of idols instead... will I choose to walk with Him today?

He IS MY STEADFAST LOVE, Fortress, Stronghold, Deliverer, Shield, Refuge, Conqueror. <3

my kid beams alot

Ty's got a great grin. sometimes he just smiles to himself for fun.

I am reminded of another grin that i am struck by -- a woman that I met at a wedding...

It's hard to tell from the pictures but this woman's smile RADIATED. I saw and felt Jesus in it. I started praying then for a smile that would lift Him up like that... to be a woman so free from anxiety and full of Jesus' love that others are blessed by me simply being in the same room. 

May it be so. :)

only God creates from nothing

Talking in class today we discussed the theme of the Bible that God makes a way where there is no way;  He can create something out of nothing.

He can give patience where there is no patience.
He can make family whole where there is only brokenness.
He can give passion where there is only dryness.
He can give love where no love has been experienced.
He can make all things new.

He is my hope for my students -- they've just turned in their life stories and I am overwhelmed at the hurt, darkness, and sins they have seen and done in their lives. Only You Creator God can overcome and create all things new for them. <3

day off

hmmm... loving me some day off today.

sitting outside on the porch with my man discussing theology... with cooler breeze and grace in the air.

thanks for the bounteous life Lord Jesus. You are so kind to us.